Just Joking

Lauren Johnson is a 12 year old girl from Virgina and is a normal sixth-grader in all respects... aside from the fact that she sneezes about 8 or 9 times a minute. The poor girl can't even speak a full sentence without being interrupted. The sneezing fit began about two weeks ago and has only let up in her sleep. Doctors are clueless and medications aren't making any difference. Now her family doesn't know what to do next.


I have a suggestion. It may seem a tad harsh and even despicable, but it's rational. Euthanasia. That's right. I'm not saying kill her, but if she continues sneezing 12,000 times a day I would think she'd want out... bad. I know I would. It's only a matter of time before she gets whiplash from a sneeze gone wrong and develops mental disorders and inferiority complexes causing her to live in seclusion before she's through her teen years. As her mom put it; "I know she's miserable."
Gezundheit!

she's very driven (no pun intended)

A South Korean woman has finally scored a passing grade on the written portion of her driver's license test. 'Why is this news,' you ask? I'll tell you why it's news. It's news because it was her 950th attempt. Cha Sa-soon, 68, has spent over $4,200 dollars in the last 4 years on application fees alone, which is a pretty big investment for someone who just wants to be able to "sell vegetables."

source: BBC

Now I know some people just can't drive, but what I find particularly astounding about this story is that she didn't accidentally pass on one of the first 949 tries, especially because it's a multiple choice test. This story doesn't fall under the category of 'human interest,' I'm pretty sure that someone failing a multiple choice test 949 times in a row is a statistical anomaly. If anyone knows of any mathematicians who are capable of such a calculation, please let me know so this can be published in a scientific journal.

Anyways, she should have just gone with all "C"s the first time and saved her time and money.

How to Fight Terrorism: Outside the Box

A couple of days ago the BBC reported that two militants were killed by a bear while hiding out in a cave in Kashmir. The militants were armed with assault rifles but still couldn't fend off the bear's attack. There is no reason why two people with assault rifles shouldn't be able to kill a bear. If one was killed, fine, but a bear can't eat two people at once. After the first militant was attacked, the other one should have had every opportunity to shoot the bear... unless unlike innocent civilians, bears are somehow immune to militant attacks.



Call me crazy, but I think Western armies should take a cue from this awesomely ridiculous incident and stop ignoring the effectiveness of bears when it comes to fighting terror, especially in this new era of guerilla warfare. What I propose is this: instead of bombing suspected terrorist hideouts and severely damaging infrastructure, our armies should drop honey bombs on militants and then release some bears to sniff them out. Think about it. No more concerns about damaged bridges, roads and buildings that require millions of dollars to rebuild, just dead terrorists, well-fed bears and sticky streets.

What will they think of next?

Source: BBC

A Japanese hi-tec firm has invented a headset that can translate foreign languages and beam the subtitles on to your retinas. Seriously. Using built-in software and a microphone, the best toy ever conceived by mankind can pick up what language is being spoken and project subtitles onto your eyes in real time. They are scheduled to go on sale in Japan next year for about $2,000 a pair. I don't know about you guys but when I hear people conversing in foreign languages, I'm curious to know what they're saying about me (because they are talking about me. Always.). Welcome to the brave new world.